Bring a pick and chisel to the exam and hammer away at any sample of
rock in the room.Â If there are no samples, hammer on the chalk-board and
calmly explain to the professor the you MUST do this in order to
Bring a quartz crystal and pretend it’s your pet.Â Ask the x-al exam
questions and every now and then loudly exclaim, “YES! I think you’re
Use flint to try to set your exam on fire.Â If there is no flint in
the room, bring your own.
Loudly exclaim after each question, “WOW! THAT’S NEAT!”
Pretend to discover gold on a sample in the room that has pyrite on
it.Â Run out of the room screaming loudly that you’ve found gold and how
rich you’re going to be so you don’t have to take this (colorful
adjective) test.Â Then come back into the room and say, “HA! I fooled ALL
Sing “Plaster Caster” by Kiss as you pulverize a chunk of gypsum.
Yell loudly, “Oppressed geology undergrads of the world -
Bring a Brunton Compass and inform everyone around you that this
ISN’T the orientation the room was in the last time you were there.Â Then
tell them that it is a vicious plot of the geology department to use
techtonic forces to move all to rooms on campus so that everyone will
sucumb to their devious plans to rule the Earth…etc…etc…
Bring a stuffed animal that looks really bizarre.Â Mid-way through
the exam, walk up to the front like you’re in show-n-tell and tell the
class in a cute 5 year old voice about your buddy, “Isogyer.”
Bring a soft black rock (carbonates, coal, …etc…etc…)
and write the entire exam with it.
Lay on the floor while doing the exam.Â When the professor asks what
the heck are you doing, just tell the prof that you’re getting closer to
mother Earth so that you’ll do better.
For a palentology exam, bring bones and beat on the table you are
sitting at while singing “Roll the Bones” by Rush.
For an Environmental Studies class walk into the room with an NRA
shirt and begin to inform everybody that they’re a bunch of
Use a petrographic microscope to look at the exam.
Bring pulverized sulfur, be creative.
Come to the exam late and before you sit down at a desk strike it
with a pick.Â Carefully listen to the tone and pretend it isn’t right.
Don’t sit down until you’ve tried this with every empty desk at least 3
times each.Â After you finally find a place to sit, get up every fifteen
minutes and do it all over again and find another place to sit.
When you get the exam, give it back to the professor and tell him to
save the trees.
Pull out a decent sized chunk of gypsum and begin to gnaw on it.
Explain that it makes for a great aphrodisiac.
Hide small farm animals in specimine drawers.
If the test involves topographic maps, put Garfield stickers all over
it…If it’s a map of Michigan, put an Elvis stamp on Kalamazoo.
Comment on how sexy the professor would look with a pick hanging from
Run into the room screaming, “OH NO!Â IT’S THE GLACIERS!Â THEY’RE
COMMING BACK AND THEY’RE PISSED!”
Bring a calculator to an essay exam.Â Pretend to use it often.
Do an imitation of soil creep.Â Be sure to include sound effects.
Pretend to be blind and act like the only way you can see is by
looking through biotite flakes.
Act as though one of the crystals in the room is sucking the life
force out of you.Â Just like superman and kryptonite.
Become a lithophagic organism.